Spiritual seeking without the fluff.
Very interesting episode. Cory, I hear where you're coming from, and I think that much of what Shawn was saying about the envy being a result of an ongoing process was true. On the other hand, I think it's very important to differentiate between envy as a negative emotion (someone has something I want, so I'm going to be angry at them/myself) and envy as a positive emotion (someone has something I want, so I'm going to work to get it myself). The most important part of the process is recognizing the emotion, recognizing the thing you want, and then taking the emotional energy created by the envy and putting it to a good cause. Easier said than done, of course, but if you can identify the emotion as it's happening, you'll have more control over your ability to channel it.Re: the feeling of always tagging along - I'm an older sibling, and I still get that. I think it's more of a low self-confidence issue than anything else.
These past two Striving podcasts have been weird for me cause I don't feel it, but someone seems to have put an electrode in my brain and is reading my thoughts. I am the Reverend Mother to your Alia, it seems.Cory, you're not alone on the feelings of envy/jealousy toward your friends. I'm sure you know that (now), and I thank you for sharing these thoughts because now I know that it's not just me. For the longest time I've had these feelings of friends (and Sean is right, it does first come from feelings of admiration) and have hated myself for having them (the feelings, not the friends). I feel like I'm failing somehow because I shouldn't feel envy/jealousy towards people I care about. I shouldn't be making it about me one one level while being genuinely happy for them on another. It's something that I am still unable to deal with, though hearing you guys talk about it has helped a lot.GWJ has been a source of this envy/jealousy for me over the past couple years. It's such a great community and with the podcast and forums and the Twitters I feel like I've met so many people that I have things in common with and can get along with, but at the same time they are so far removed from me. I mean, you guys don't know me except for the occasional comment on the site or @ reply on Twitter. And even then, it's not a two way exchange really. I observe so much of the GWJ community and all the friendships there and don't feel like I'm really a part of it. It's kinda the tagging along feeling Cory mentions between siblings that are many years apart.This podcast seems like a natural extension for me from the previous podcast about one's internet social life. I am from the States originally, but I do not live there any more. My best friends from high school (a group of about 10 guys that have stayed in constant contact via email for almost 20 years now) are all still in the States. All of my good friends that I've made here in Japan have returned to their own countries over the past 5 years. And then there are my "internet" friends which are mostly from GWJ. My social circles are almost all centered around the internet. And even though I am so thankful for them, I have serious feeling of envy/jealousy when I read about things they do together without me. And then I hate myself for those feelings.As Codexer points out I need to put it to a good cause. I haven't figured out how to do that.And, as Justin McElroy so nicely put it in the previous podcast, "I'm now bumming myself out" reading over the preview of this comment. But, yeah, it was really great hearing you talk about these things because I'm often in the same situation.
Thanks for sharing that! I went for a walk with my oldest brother a few weeks ago and admitted to him that growing up, and even now although to a much lesser degree, I always carried this assumption that his time was more valuable than mine.Definitely a self-confidence thing, but it never totally goes away.